Fleet Foxes: Sun Giant EP

I must confess, when I first heard of Fleet Foxes, I was tempted to dismiss them as just another baroque-pop Decemberists/Sufjan Stevens clone. Upon listening to their new EP, Sun Giant, which was released nationally, my perceptions of this band were immediately shifted. Rather than the quirky, mandolin-and-harpsichord-infused pop I was expecting, what I instead found was an exquisitely crafted blend of vocal harmonies that are so perfect they make you want to cry, and varied, melodic instrumentation that was more folk-influenced than anything else. Fleet Foxes sounds similar to what I would imagine Grizzly Bear covering Neutral Milk Hotel would sound like.

While the production quality of the Sun Giant is excellent, I can't help but feel that the album sells the band short of their full impact. For one thing, in order to reach the more accessible tracks on the album, listeners must first grapple with the first song, the title track "Sun Giant", a nearly a capella chant of uninspiring content. I'm not going to lie, that song is pretty terrible, and sets a completely wrong tone for the album. Another complaint I have is the overall length of the album. Clocking in at just under 2o minutes, it barely lasts any time at all, (especially if you skip the first track) leaving you wanting more. Otherwise, the other aspects of Sun Giant are pretty much all positive. The remaining four tracks are all rich, melodic tracks, with just enough of a hint of old-timey folk. They work well together and round out the album nicely.

Fleet Foxes @ Myspace
This album plays well with: Grizzly Bear, Neutral Milk Hotel, Beach House, The Sea and Cake

Juno: annoying

Sometimes when I think back on how I acted in middle school all I can do is cringe. I guess it would be right to keep in mind that children are children and not adults; that there are behaviors appropriate to children and then different behaviors appropriate to adults. Since all these childish actions are in the immovable past I am helpless to change them, and this is embarrassing, since it is impossible to simply disown my former self. It's the same reason that I cringe at memories of drunkenness. Being drunk is not really a sufficient excuse- I still have to take responsibility for my asinine antics. I'm helpless to control the actions of the past (and in fact I was semi-helpless, let's say help-impaired, to control my actions at the actual time of occurrence.)

Well, even despite these analyses and justifications, I still can't review my younger years without the groaning realization that I thought that was funny, and I thought that was cool, and I acted towards people like that. The things I did were in fact annoying and stupid. They were annoying and stupid, and it would be self-flattery to insist otherwise. It would be downright dishonest to claim that the things I did were, say, quirky or whimsical.

This is why I don't like the movie Juno. Juno is not quirky or whimsical. She's an annoying little girl whose stupid conversation made me want to punch her in the eye. No annoying high schooler talks like Juno; however, many annoying high schoolers wish they could talk like Juno. If you gave a bunch of stupid schoolkids Matrix powers to slow down time so that they could come up with bratty comebacks after every sentence, they might be able to talk like Juno. Unfortunately for them, they would still be spouting stupid, annoying piffle.

Tiberius

"During his stay at Rhodes a professor of literature named Diogenes used to lecture every Sabbath - and, when Tiberius wanted to hear him some other day of the week, sent a slave out to say: 'Come back on the seventh day!' Diogenes now turned up at Rome and waited at the Palace door to pay Tiberius his respects; Tiberius' only revenge was a mild message: 'Come back in the seventh year.'"
-Suetonius, The Twelve Caesars: Tiberius: 32

Oohh, sick burn on Diogenes.



As opposed to our modern style of biography, in which the subject's life is told straightforwardly from birth to death, Suetonius arranged his biographies into sections based on category. Due to this method, I initially had a very positive view of Rome's second emperor. Perhaps he seemed a bit impotent and waffly, and Augustus certainly did not think too much of him; but Tiberius was effective as a general, respected the Senate, was not overly power-hungry, and was always ready to dash off on self-imposed exile.

Unfortunately, Suetonius left the worst part for the end. You have to wait until section 43 to discover that Tiberius was a disgusting sex-pervert with a taste for pædophilia. It's always worst when you are familiar with someone before finding out these things. "Such a filthy old man he had become!" interjects our author, while listing crimes "almost too vile to discuss." Suetonius was probably such a gossip.

"Even as a young officer he was such a hard drinker that his name, Tiberius Claudius Nero, was displaced by the nickname 'Biberius Caldius Mero'- meaning: 'Drinker of hot wine with no water added'.

Does anyone need a new nickname? It's a mouthful, but it's also a hilarious Latin pun. And if anyone recognizes its source, you'll know them to be tremendously intelligent!

"He was dining at a country-house called 'The Cavern' , near Tarracina, when some huge rocks fell from the roof of the natural cave which served as a banqueting-hall and gave the house its name, killing several guests and attendants close to him."

That must have been the most terrifying dinner ever.